“You children need to have a cushion to fall on. That cushion is you. That cushion is love”. – Carolina King
To parent and discipline a child are the two roles a mother has to juggle between. It has been observed that the way in which parents choose to discipline their child has a lot to with the stress which is involved behind this job. Not only a mother, but the father also has to ensure that the journey of discipling their child and raising them is a peaceful one for both the parents as well as the child. The most important peaceful parenting tips is that the parents must ensure that they regulate and have control over their own emotions before they choose to react to something that their child does.
Peaceful parenting includes below given six steps: -
The Do’s of peaceful parenting: -
Focus more on the emphatic ways to make your child understand their mistakes instead of being angry at them: - It is suggested that a parent must lay emphasis on making use of a more understanding and empathic tone when their child commits a mistake instead of just being angry and yelling at them. To make children realise their mistake and ensure that they do not repeat this in future it is important to be soft with them.
Understanding the reason behind misbehaviour that children portray: Instead of being stressed about the food left unfinished or a broken glass it is important for the parents to take a moment and analyse the reason behind such a behaviour. It is important to sometimes step into the shoes of children and try to understand their thought process. This way the mischief and misbehaviour can be avoided in the future.
Setting limitations is necessary, but empathy comes first: To add discipline and a sense of responsibility at an early stage in the behaviour of the children it is important to set limitations but by being generous and empathetic. Being unreasonable is something which parents should avoid. Using phrases like, “I know you want to play another match, but it’s time to sleep. We’ll play more matches tomorrow, okay?”
Do share quality and personal time with your children: Though parents, especially mothers tend to spend most of their time with their children but it is important for them to spend quality and personal time, which means that during this time you should be completely involved with your children. Some of these little things can be, asking them about their day at school, playing their favourite game with them, watching their favourite cartoon and understanding why that specific cartoon is their favourite.
Always build a safety net for your child: Children always look up to their parents for safety and expect they will be always protected by them. It is the responsibility of parents to make their children feel safe and safety can be understood as something as minute as getting them out of a small fight. Parents should use phrases like, “We know that you are a good child, but you will have to apologise and promise that you won’t fight with anyone ever again”.
Narrate stories to your children and set someone they trust, as an example: It has been observed that storytelling has a positive impact on children, since they are able to gain a more empathetic outlook towards the world. Children tend to put themselves in the shoes of the protagonist and understand the way they behave. This has twofold benefits, first that due to storytelling parent-child relationship strengthens and secondly children learn empathy and develop an understanding.
Regulate your own behaviour and be prepared for setbacks: Parents have to deal with a lot of stress and they should ensure that their children should not suffer because of that. Every reaction should be weighed and it is evident that children do take some time in understanding and implementing new things, therefore patience is the key to make them learn and understand better.
Laying focus on building connections: by building and developing a strong relationship with your children it can be ensured that they trust you more and thereby understand things in a better way. The small things make a lot of difference, like planning small family trips every now and then, playing with them on Sunday’s, having a family dinner together, and a good night's wish before going off to bed. It has been observed that children like to have attention from their parents and therefore, such things should be practiced for building relations and gaining trust.
Communicating the expectations: Parents should ensure that they always communicate expectations to their children in a humble manner and with a reasoning attached. For example, “Rahul is your big brother and you should listen to him”, “You will always brush your teeth before going to bed, because I don't want your beautiful teeth to get spoiled”.
Focus on reasoning: - Children tend to understand things better when they are reasoned as to why they have to follow what their parents tell them. Since children are always curious, therefore by stating reasons the expectations can be set in the right manner. It is important to make them understand the importance behind things and their significance.
The Don’ts of peaceful parenting:
Don’t punish your child unnecessarily: - Being strict is fine up to an extent only, since punishments and strict rules can have an opposite impact on the psychology of most children, since they tend to draw a negative image about them. Instead parents should form rules that are fun to follow and keep the children motivated. For example, parents can use phrases like, “Since you improved your grades, we will go out to your favourite eating place”.
Don’t control the behaviour of your children: It is always advised to parents that they should make sure that they do not impose a certain type of behaviour on them and instead make them understand the why behind that behaviour. The language of love is the most effective one and therefore regular counselling and building of understanding helps a great deal.
Benefits of Peaceful Parenting:
Peaceful parenting is nothing but building a strong, positive and a happy relationship with your children, which enables their growth as well as ensures that parents have a calm and peaceful time, while their children grow up.
This has a good number of benefits like:
Children begin to trust their parents better and develop a stronger relationship with them.
Through building connections, families stick together and lesser conflicts.
The emotional intelligence of children increases as they know the importance of empathy and belongingness.
Mindfulness is an important element that a parent is being able to nurture in their children with the help of peaceful parenting.
The bond that is developed in early stages of life is supposed to go a long way and therefore this results in the long-term relationship building.
The parents also tend to enjoy and feel less stressed if the peaceful parenting tips are kept in mind and are followed.
Positive and regular communication builds the social and problem-solving skills, since socialising with peers and the likes becomes easier and comfortable.
A lesson on accountability and responsible behaviour is also learned by children because of the way parents set their limitations.